Animals used to be seen as not much more than machines—incapable of pain, preferences, or emotions. Thankfully, all that has changed, but questions remain about the inner life of animals, especially dogs.
Which leads us to ask: is it possible to hurt a dog’s feelings?
Key Takeaways
- Dogs have emotional lives similar to those of human toddlers.
- Our actions and words can impact a dog’s emotions, with negative behaviors like ignoring or punishing them potentially causing distress.
- Signs of hurt feelings in dogs include changes in body language and demeanor, such as a lowered head, droopy ears, and withdrawing from favorite activities.
- Building a strong, positive bond with your dog can help reduce emotional upsets and encourage resilience.
Do Dogs Have Feelings?
Research shows that dogs and other animals possess rich emotional lives comparable to those experienced by humans. Here’s what studies show about dog emotions:
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Dog brains are similar to ours and have the same structures that, in people, correlate to emotions like fear and happiness.
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Dogs produce hormones that are associated with certain feelings in people. Oxytocin, commonly referred to as the “love hormone,” is a good example.
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Certain dog behaviors have been linked to identifiable emotional states. For example, research shows that dogs typically wag their tail to the right when they are happy.
Dog emotions are similar to those experienced by human toddlers. Dog cognition (mental ability) is similar to that of children who are 2–2.5 years old, and this likely applies to their emotions as well.
Can You Hurt a Dog’s Feelings?
Because dogs do have emotions, it’s natural to wonder whether we can hurt their feelings. Or, to put this question another way, can our words or actions make our dogs unhappy or sad?
In short, yes. What we do or say to our dogs has a noticeable effect on them. Praise them, and they’re likely to wag their tail and break out into a goofy grin. On the other hand, telling your dog “no” when they drop a tennis ball at your feet will lead to disappointment, and maybe a little anger as well.
Some things that could hurt a dog’s feelings are:
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Punishment when they’re anxious or scared. Fear can lead to problematic behaviors like growling or urinating in the house. Dogs need a calm and safe environment to start feeling better. Yelling at—or worse, hitting—a scared dog just proves that they were right to have something to fear.
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Inconsistency. Dogs don’t have a lot of control over their lives, but they like to know what’s coming next. If your dog is used to spending some quality time with you before bedtime, for example, skipping this nightly ritual may make them sad.
Signs You’re Hurting Your Dog’s Feelings
Dogs who act sad for an extended period of time may have depression. Many things can cause dogs to act depressed, like spending a lot of time on their own, a change in routine, the death of a family member, a lack of exercise and play, and medical problems like hypothyroidism and pain. Depression can lead to signs like:
Talk to your veterinarian if you have any questions about your dog’s behavior or health.
How To Bond With Your Dog
It’s natural for a dog to experience hurt feelings from time to time, but they should bounce back quickly, particularly if the two of you already have a strong bond. Here are some tips for developing or strengthening the bond between you and your dog:
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Give your dog lots of attention. Spend time together doing things that you both enjoy, such as going for walks, playing with their favorite toysgrooming them, and snuggling together.
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Sometimes let your dog be in charge. Dogs are often willing to go along with what we want, but sometimes it’s nice to let them have a say. For example, go out on scent walks where your dog gets to pick the pace and route (as long as it’s safe!), or don’t force your dog to wear a Halloween costume if it’s obvious that they’re miserable in it.
If you put in the work to develop a strong bond with your dog, they’ll forgive you if you occasionally hurt their feelings.